it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
