I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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