highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
