Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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