I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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