he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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