Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
