Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
