He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
