You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
that is very illegal...i love you.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
