I want to make a zoo with you.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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