You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
