He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
