i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
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