We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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