Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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