I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
