Can i not drive my cunt home
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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