How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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