the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
