To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
