we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Randomize
