I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
