I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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