return my video game
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
