He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
