She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
