he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
