So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
