its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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