Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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