I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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