I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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