hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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