why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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