Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
