Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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