the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
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