I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
