I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
