Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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