I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
