Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
birth control should be required to get into college
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
