I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
