the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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