id be glad to
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
