The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Your dad touched me again.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
