Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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