We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
