So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
